Wondering

Right.

Ugh, another blog post started with that.

Anyway. I think I'm getting paranoid with the A thing. While I do find him/her quite amusing sometimes, I'm getting annoyed. From now on, I'm going to call him/her a "her". I don't think that he/she's a female (I'm unsure, actually), but it's getting annoying to keep typing out him/her. So, female pronouns it is.

Right. I've been assaulted in my own home. I've had my possessions damaged. While I think I know how she got in now (there's a drainpipe that goes up past one of my windows; I checked it today, and the hinges are a bit broke; you can swing it open silently and get in from the inside or the outside) and have rectified the fault (namely, supergluing the window shut), I've still got the problem that I'm jumping every time I hear someone walk past the front door with a barking dog.

I'm getting more and more annoyed at it. I'm considering moving away; I can get a new flat, even if I have to go for a flatshare. I can get a new job; I am mobile. Completely mobile.

But so's she. She can go anywhere. She could follow me to my new flat. She could be my flatmate and I wouldn't know.

I don't know. That's the thing. There's so much I don't know about in the world.

Whatever. I'm going to be resolute. I'll look for a new flat somewhere else... London, maybe. If I can find a good price, which is unlikely.

Anyway, yeah. Will stay in touch with my mobile if I get my Internet removed.
-The Lexiconical-

Lack of Updates

Sorry, I've been asked to do some overtime at work. Might have a lack of updates for some time. P/P says that he's being snowed in by coursework, and I'm presuming that Sub's busy with her boyfriend.

I'll be sure to post here should anything happen.
-The Lexiconical-

Shoulders

You know, I'm starting on awful lot of posts with the word "right." I just noticed it.

Anyway. I've been away from my flat for a few days; I lied to my landlord and told him that I'd been sleeping at a friend's house. He's been asking, saying if I'm moving in with her any time soon. I laughed it off.

The police have said that I'm not being charged with anything. Even if I did do something, the most they could give me is a fine... which they have anyway. Paid it, even if it's the last of my money until Friday, which is when I get this week's pay.

It feels good to be typing on a computer again. I've tidied up the last of the mess, thrown away the rubbish, and kicked out the flies that have been nearby.

Now, let me describe something. Since the time when I got drunk and ended up in a ditch, I've moved my computer to my living room; it's arranged in a way that I can see out the window now, if I look. I want to see if A tries to come in again.

Now, see, the big problem is that I can see them. She/He's outside my door, staring into it. Or, that's what I assume she/he's doing. I can just see his shoulder from here.

He/she knows I'm here, he/she must know I'm here. I haven't been here for a long time, he/she must have moved there when I went out to make myself some toast. I know she's/he's there, and she/he knows I know she/he's there, and I know he/she knows I know he/she's there...

Suddenly, I don't want to be sitting here.
-The Lexiconical-

Awakening

I'm on the train home. Had to stay awake all night to catch a train, had to be careful, just in case. My phone's on full battery, and I need something to do besides being agitated while I wait for my stop.

Now, let me tell you what happened after my last post.

I took my medicine. The exact dosage, nothing more and nothing less. I considered trying to overdose myself on it, but I turned my mind to this place. Things aren't normal here. Perhaps overdosing wouldn't do anything; maybe my medication would do nothing. It doesn't matter. You have totry, and I was going to try getting out of here one last time before I considered pulling the plug on myself.

So I got up from the wall I was behind. Opened the gate next to me, looked up and down the street; well-lit. The street lights had come on in this backstreet; maybe time does pass here, just according to different rules.

And saw one of them on either side of me. The androgynous person on one side... I'm guessing it's A. That's based on the fact that he/she had apparently sprayed one of those giant symbols on the ground. You know, the (A) one? Just on the floor; like, in the middle of the road and on the front of doors. A few cans of empty spraypaint around him/her, just staring up the street. And now, I could really see them; before, I couldn't really see their face or anything, just because he/she moved so quickly.

But now? I could see it clearly. In addition to the black ensemble (black shirt, black trousers, black boots), I could see that they were wearing a hood; as in, maybe a black hoodie? Or just a black hood? Nevertheless, a lot of black. And not meaning to contrast, I think he/she was wearing, like, a balaclava or something. They were standing pretty near the street lights, so I couldn't make out his/her face, but it looked like he/she was wearing something to ensure that nobody could see their face. Anonymous indeed. He/she just... stood out from the fog, you know? Anyway.

The other person was... more weird. They were tall, quite tall. Not inhumanly so, but I'm a pretty short guy, so I'd turn to look at him if I saw him in the supermarket, y'know? Anyway: almost certainly a guy, based on the broad shoulders. Unlike A, they blended in with the fog a lot more, so I couldn't make out their face. I could just see the shoulders (black suit, perhaps?), but the head was a bit of a lost cause. I took a single step forward, then realised that someone was behind me.

The other one... actually, calling him that's annoying, let's call him, I dunno. B sounds stupid. JS? As in, John Smith? Okay, let's go with that.

JS had somehow gotten behind me. I had been focusing more on the other one, so I guess he just must be a fast runner or something. Anyway, he got behind me; I felt something pull at my neck, and I was suddenly sprawled in the middle of the road; and on the floor, in what could be considered microscopic precision, was the (A) symbol. Someone had been busy; I had just thought the fog was getting bad when I had looked at the floor. But no, someone had gone to town with a can of spray paint; lots of (A)'s. None, I noticed, where JS had been standing. None where I had been typing (and where JS was now standing), as well.

Anyway, I rolled over, and looked back up at JS. But something caught my eye; A had gotten near to where I'd been. And I could swear that I saw A try to attack JS with a knife; and not just the "swing knife randomly" approach you've all seen, but someone who clearly knew how to use it. I don't know what effects it had on JS, but I do know that shortly, A was taking steps back towards me, knifeless. Either he'd dropped it, or JS had it now. JS seemed to be just staring at A now, not doing anything.

A noticed me as he'd been stepping backwards; he kicked my leg, before beginning to circle back towards JS. I got up, and started to back away from the fight. Why these two idiots were fighting is something I didn't want to know, or didn't care about.

...didn't care about much, that is. I dunno; it just seems that when my adrenalin's pumping, I've got something to live for, something to do in the world. That's not important now, I'll do it when I get home.

I'd gotten to the place where JS had been before. I turned around and got ready to run... and somehow, JS was behind me. I took one look at his chest (all I could reach without looking up!), and promptly sprinted past him; once again, I felt the pain in the back of my neck and ended up sprawled, this time back where I'd started sprinting.

JS had vanished into the fog; A was coming over to me, but kept staring into the fog. Maybe she/he was trying to evade JS as well? I got up, and looked at A again. I couldn't see him/her very well, but I could swear that one of his/her eyes was twinkling. Maybe he/she feels the same as me... excitement gives you something to live for. I couldn't see his/her other eye.

Then everything went... fuzzy. Like someone had turned all the lights off. I heard someone... no, something shout, and I ended up on my back again, as things scrabbled around me, so energetic and moving.

And then, stillness. I was surrounded by black and darkness. I felt like I was swimming in the deepest pool you can imagine; I swam up, and noticed a small light. I stared at it; it blotted out for a second, then I could see that something was coming down from it. Something as dark as what surrounded me... I swam up. I don't know why, maybe it's just something built in. Instincts.

And even though I couldn't see this messenger from the light, what I do know is that I could see a hand framed against the light, and then words pounded into my head. Not spoken words, but... a force. Like words turned into hurricanes, into tsunamis. A force of nature in spoken form.

"Come with me."

I took the hand eagerly; anything to get out of this insane monochrome place. Away from the darkness, into the light. I grasped the hand - and it wasa hand, I could feel the skin - and fell into a sleep.

I woke up in some alley, just off the high street. In the dead of night; I sorted my priorities out, went straight to the train station. I wasn't harmed, but I thought it best to avoid people; I didn't want any officers accusing me of things today. Plus, I smelled quite bad. Bit like eggs, really.

So, that's where I am. The train's one stop away from mine, so I'd better send this and get on my way. The apartment could probably do with a good tidy, and my blood's still fizzing from what happened.

I dunno. I felt like I risked my life, I've been assaulted two or three times in the past week or two... but I feel great. On top of the world. A little part of me's telling me that I should do this more often. Maybe I should join the army, huh? Haha. Oh crap, better get going, the train's about to reach my stop.
-The Lexiconical-

Memoir?

The longer I spend here, the more I think I'm losing my mind.

I've been assaulted. Twice. The first was right after my last message; I posted it in the middle of the word because I heard a bin fall over; it's a pretty big sound and the first I'd heard besides the constant sounds of the city.

I was quite surprised to see someone jump over that wall and into the alley, though. I couldn't really see their face, their sex, anything. I could see their outline in the fog (black contrasts with grey, after all), but they didn't seem to have that many secondary sexual characteristics, if you know what I mean? They dropped down from the wall, landed in front of me. Instantly stood upright and promptly punched me in the face. The rest of it's a blur, I'm afraid. I couldn't fight back, not with the bandage on my hand.

But here's the thing. After my attacker ran off (dunno why, though), I looked at myself. I wasn't bruised. And I bruise easily. Either I just felt a lot more pain than there was, or... something else. I don't know.

Now, the second one. I don't know what happened here. I tried to see where my first attacker went, turned around and my memory's a big blank, visually. I can remember my body hurting, though. Felt like I was being thrown around like a rag doll.

I don't know any more. This place is strange, it's filled with attackers and the more time I spend here, the more my memory keeps slipping away.

I don't know how to get out. I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's even safe to look over this wall.

I wonder if there's any point in even trying any more. Maybe I should just give up and let time pass me by here... let me take my medicine. Everything will be better after that.

-The Lexiconical-

Signal

Something's odd here.

I've been here for over twenty-four hours. But I'm not hungry, I don't want to eat at all. I don't feel thirsty; I know I should, but I don't. And my mobile phone battery isn't running out, and I've always got perfect signal. I can't text or phone anyone, though. When I go on the Internet, the only thing I can get on is this blog, which is my homepage. Weird.

Anyway, I've been trying what you people have been saying. I haven't found anything to mark my place; and nothing's really changed here since I entered. The only thing that's changed is that it's been getting really foggy. As in, in some places, you can't see your hand in front of your face. The time of day hasn't seemed to change either; it's all just gotten... monochrome, I guess. Might be the fog.

I placed my hand on a wall and tried to get out; no luck. I'll try it again now, see if it'll work if I use the other wall.

I dunno; it seems like I could live here forever; I don't want to, though. Let's see what happ
-The Lexiconical-

A Walk in Lancaster

Right. I'll have to start from the beginning. Summary: I need your help.

This morning, I left my house and caught a train to my GP, since I don't own a car, and Lancaster's a considerable distance away; train costs less than a bus. Anyway, I took a train to Lancaster, got off. Went to my GP's surgery

We sat down and had a talk. I mentioned I had a blog, but didn't give him the URL. He thinks that I might be suffering from depression, so he gave me a prescription (along with some other information, but the prescription is what's important); I went to the pharmacy, picked it up. Got the recommended dosage, took what it told me to dry, and decided to take a walk around the city

So I took a walk around; bought a kebab, sat down and ate it. Quite enjoyed it, too. I got told that I couldn't keep sitting on the bench I'd chosen, so I got up and took a walk around, eating my kebab. I kinda regretted buying it so big; I wasn't sure if I'd be able to eat it all.

So, went down a few backstreets. And when a dog (dunno what breed it was. Bit like a Labrador.) came out of an alley, I thought "hey, not like I'm gonna eat it all," and gave some to the dog. It seemed quite content with the bit of lamb it'd had, so I kept on walking. From back-street to back-street, alley to alley... I've done the walk before, I know how it goes. I always do it. Finished my kebab, found a convenient bin to put it in.

Then I heard someone scream. Loudly. I jumped out of my skin and ran down an alley; I didn't know whether I was coming towards it, or running away from it. I was just moving. Ran down that alley, into another, into another, into another.

Then I realised something.

In all my time of doing that walk, I have never been down that street. In fact, I wasn't sure if there was a street there before. It doesn't matter.

See, the thing is, I can't get out of the alleys.

I can't get to the main streets; no matter where I go or what directions I take, I just end up in the same old places. The city sounds like a city... but it's not... right. It's like someone's recreated a city, but they've only seen the music, not heard it played.

Look, what could this be? I keep thinking that I'm seeing people at the end of streets, but I run down there and there's nobody there. Nobody's in the houses; I've looked inside the windows. Nobody answers the door, nobody notices when I knock on the windows.

I'm sitting on top of a bin at the moment, typing this on my mobile. It's set to send me a text when someone replies, so please reply with all the advice you can.

Please.
-The Lexiconical-